Hello, my name is Chris and I've been a Last Bite Save for about 27 years now.
I can't begin to explain how many times I've saved a particular bite of dinner, dessert, or other food items til the very last. The promise of a sweet or savory perfect ending to a well thought out meal. The joyous triumph of selecting a bite with all of the greatest flavor combination wrapped into one final package. The nearly orgasmic sensation when you slowly roll the food over all the taste buds on your tongue, almost as if the two are participating in a comic saliva wrestling match. (Okay, maybe that image was a little too much, but that's what the imagination is for.)
But now that I am older and spending time reflecting on personal habits, I find that my Last Bite Addiction permeates other behaviors. Just yesterday, I was shopping for pants. Completely unrelated to eating, or so I thought. Yet, the moment I entered the dressing room, I found myself sorting through the four or five options I had plucked from the clearance rack. I sorted them based on whether I just happened to like them, or had fallen in love with them at first sight. Guess which ones went to the back of the rack. I didn't notice until I tried on all the other pairs of pants, but the pair I saved for last was that pair of charcoal grey trousers that sparked a natural desire upon first sight. "Holy shit.", I exclaimed to myself, having realized that this Last Bite Addiction was becoming a way of life.
At least when I tried on the pants, they fit like a charm and I didn't have to face my fear of placing them on the merchandise restocking rack. Instead I marched toward the register in that joyous state of triumph similar to saving a final bite of cheesecake to finish a four course meal.
So tonight I write my story in hopes that I may provoke others to limit themselves in the dangerous habit of Last Bites and the possible life altering addiction it may lead to. I know I'm not the only one out there like this, but I also won't name names. If you suffer, or savor at times, this terrible way of life, please leave more insight to those naysayers out there.
However, Emery brought up the point that her grandmother who lived in California would offer up these words of advice: "Don't save the best bite for last, you never know when an earthquake will come."
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4 comments:
I definitely have this problem, despite my grandmother's warning about the earthquakes :)
Very funny about saving the best pants for last!
"...shopping for pants..." What does that mean, exactly? I ask because, well, I don't know if I've ever really "shopped" for anything. I'm a buyer, as consumerist as that sounds... I dispense with the comparison and digression into the finer points of this versus that. And I'm not saying your way is bad... I was raised by practicalists. I know that's not a word, and my grandfather is spinning in his pot. (He was cremated.) Tracey was the first person that really introduced me to the concept of "flavor." Seriously. In my family, food was a tool. It was a necessity for sustaining life. If it happened to taste good - so be it. And truly, I hate that I was ingrained that way. When I catch myself saying that, I feel a bit jipped. I think Tracey is a perfect bite person, though. So, she evens me out.
Oh, and I meant to say: "Good post. I wish you would write more of them."
LAST BITE ADDICTS (LBA)
my ex -wife belonged.
Tippy-off-Bite
was her name
for such a bite.
i don't remember
talking about it,
just noticed quietly.
quiet amusement.
but now that you
mention it openly,
i think we belong
to a similar
family of LBA.
as when we share
dessert, specially good,
our last bite has
a problem finding home.
whether we surmise
not worthy of it,
or we desire the other
to enjoy the prize,
we realize too late
a problem when we leave
the restaurant
it's still on the plate.
to make it right
we have tried this,
cut it in half
to double the delight.
so in that spirit
of sharing i suggest,
slice the Tippy-off
half way through your meal.
and as you take it in,
think of it as a,
an intermission.
enjoy it again.
and if that has appeal
try quartering it
and spreading it out
through the whole meal.
but really when it
comes down to it,
be thankful that,
you got something worthy
of saving down to
THE LAST BITE.
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